What is Spiritual Direction?

Spiritual direction (SD) is a term for something we look for all the time: companionship. In various forms, companionship is essential for physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual flourishing. Isolation in any season of life, such as a period of transition, parenting, grief or illness, or evolving faith, can be painful. Spiritual direction is a formal vocation of spiritual care intended to provide the necessary space for folks to process their experience of faith with a trained listener. In this contemplative space, spiritual directors offer their presence to directees and together they pay attention to the movements and invitations of God in the directee’s life.

Who are Spiritual Directors?

Spiritual directors are trained listeners who are especially eager to support others in their spiritual life. There are many approaches, but at the heart of their work spiritual directors are ordinary people who:

• listening without intent to prove, fix, or change you.
• remain open to your questions, though they will not provide answers.
• hold your story with great care.
• withholding judgement and shame.

It is important to acknowledge spiritual direction training takes place in accredited certificate or graduate programs according to directors’ faith tradition and any areas of special interest. This multi-year training ensures directors, or companions as they are also known, fully understand the capacity of their role, the elements of spiritual care, and the necessary ethical boundaries. This helps keep the attention flowing in the appropriate direction: toward the directee. Many are multi-vocational, which means they may have another job or form of education that may or may not be related to spirituality.

Spiritual directors are members of a broad range of faith traditions, including the spectrum of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Wicca, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and more. Many are comfortable in inter-faith settings and take on directees from other faith backgrounds.

Contrary to other helping professionals, like a counselor or pastor, the spiritual director does not listen from a place of power. The term spiritual companion reflects this reality better than the traditional term spiritual director. The relationship between director and directee is purposefully egalitarian. This means the director has no higher status than the directee. More on this below.

Spiritual Direction Sessions are Sacred Spaces

Spiritual directors create a dedicated space to listen attentively, both physically (or virtually) and spiritually. These sessions provide spiritual hospitality. Spiritual directors listen to directees and directees learn to hear and listen to God, the ultimate “spiritual director.”

The structure of a session will vary slightly depending on the director and the directee. Generally, they may begin with an open ended question like, “What’s happening in your soul today?” or “Where have you noticed love or fear?” The director’s questions open up the floor for folks to share what’s on their mind. The focus of each session is on one’s experience of faith, not particular theological beliefs. (Theological debate and scripture study are best suited for spaces outside of spiritual direction.) Topics can range from deep spirituality to noticing the joy of ordinary routines.

“The opportunity to tell our story opens us to hear God’s story more deeply – God’s presence and participation in our lives and in the life of the world. In God all human stories connect and when we participate in spiritual direction, we seem to notice more of the connections.”

Jeannette A. Bakke

Sessions may also include silence or time to experiment with spiritual disciplines based on the interest of the directee.

Spiritual Direction is Distinct From Counseling or Pastoral Care

SD may sound similar to counseling or speaking with a pastor. At times, your therapist or pastor may also be a trained spiritual director and offer that form of sacred hospitality to you. Even so, it is important to make the distinction between the three modalities of care. This chart is a very helpful comparison between spiritual direction, discipleship, counseling, and other similar relationships.

One of the most important distinctions inherent to SD is its non-hierarchical nature. The director’s role is not to provide professional advice as a therapist or faith leader might be expected to. Although the director is likely to have received training in SD and/or theology, their presence is rooted in mutuality and companionship. This “side-by-side” environment is key. It creates space for directors to listen attentively and act as a non-judgmental mirror.

There is no universal solution to life’s questions and therefore no superior approach. SD can easily complement the work of clinical counseling or pastoral care, though it cannot replace them. Spiritual directors are trained to distinguish between the domains of spiritual care and mental health. If you have specific questions, ask a spiritual director about their approach and if they feel comfortable with those concerns.

“The environment of spiritual direction, then, is affirming and encouraging, but it is also a place of authenticity. In spiritual direction we look at the truth of our present situation and experience. The question asked is not “What should be happening in my life?” but “What is happening in my life?” We look for God here, now, because the place where we are in our lives is the place where we find God.”

Alice Fryling

Spiritual Direction is Rooted in Ancient Faith

Spiritual direction is rooted in ancient faith traditions, including Christianity. There are numerous examples in Christian scripture and throughout church history. Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, and other eastern religions practice it, too. From the Christian scriptures we can see the interaction between the prophet Eli and Samuel in 1 Samuel 3:1-18 as spiritual companionship. The desert fathers and mothers in the early church also provided spiritual direction to believers and seekers.

“Spiritual direction is a way of companioning people as they seek to look closely, through the eyes of their hearts, at the guidance and transforming work of God in their lives. It’s a practice that began in the early years of Christianity when people followed the desert mothers and fathers out to the wilderness to ask them how to know God. Over the years, spiritual direction has appeared in many faith traditions. It was kept alive in the Christian faith mainly through the Roman Catholic Church, but today the Protestant church is rediscovering it. People throughout the Christian church, including those of an evangelical orientation, are experiencing again the gifts that God gives to his people through the loving listening and the gentle guidance of spiritual directors.”

Alice Fryling

Benefits of Spiritual Direction

Each person will experience different outcomes from spiritual companionship since this is such a personal, presence-based space. Before listing a few general benefits, I invite you to consider the following questions. What would happen for you if you had:

• a dedicated time each month to focus on the health of your inner life?
• increased attention to God’s presence in your story and daily life?
• greater awareness of love or fear in your choices?
• a space to be frustrated, curious, playful with God?
• a place to practice or learn new spiritual disciplines?

The answers to those questions will be unique to you and your particular circumstances. There are no guarantees, answers, or directives given, so “success” for a directee is highly subjective and depends on how they engage with spiritual direction. Generally, folks may notice the following outcomes:

• experience God’s love and grace
• spiritual maturity
• recognizing you’re not alone
• increased awareness to God’s presence
• healing from spiritual wounding or religious trauma
• engage in prayer practices authentic to you
• receive spiritual care during de/re construction
• gain support for spiritual conversations between you and loved ones
• deeper levels of discernment

Exploring Spiritual Direction

Spiritual direction is for those who are curious about what God is doing in and around them, for those who want to care for their soul, and even for those who aren’t sure what faith means to them anymore.

The door is open and the invitation is wide. If given the space to process your story with God, what would you say?