The Best & Worst Books for Healthy Christian Relationships
I recently asked my Instagram community about the books they loved (and hated!) for healthy Christian relationships. I’ve complied the answers into this list, which has been updated once or twice since then.
It’s important to know I’m not personally endorsing any of the books mentioned below. I’ve read only a handful, good and bad. Secondarily, I found that most of the authors suggested are white males, who as you may guess, do not hold a monopoly on healthy, Christian relationships or great sex. If you have suggestions, please let me know so I can add them to the list.
Which Christian dating/marriage books have either helped or misled you?
Best Books for Christian Relationships
- Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski
- The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended by Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, Joanna Sawatsky
- Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
- Damaged Goods by Dianna Anderson
- Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- You and Me Forever by Francis Chan
- Vertical Marriage by Dave and Ann Wilson
- The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Clifford and Joyce Penner
- Good Christian Sex: Why Chastity Isn’t the Only Option-And Other Things the Bible Says About Sex by Bromleigh McCleneghan
- A Celebration Of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy by Douglas Rosenau
- Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
- The Sacred Search: What If It’s Not Who You Marry, But Why? by Gary Thomas
- Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms by Matthias Roberts
- Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts by Les and Leslie Parrott
- How to Get a Date Worth Keeping by Henry Cloud
- The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller
- Modern Kinship by David and Constantino Khalaf
- Husband in Pursuit & Wife in Pursuit by Ryan and Selena Frederick
- Beyond Sex Roles by Gilbert Bilezikian
- Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage by Elizabeth Gilbert
- Sex God by Rob Bell
Books that Received Mixed Reviews
- The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption by Matt Chandler
- Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity by Lauren Winner
Worst Books for Healthy Christian Relationships
- I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
- Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris
- Emotional Purity by Heather Arnel Paulsen
- When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy
- Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge
- Dateable by Hayley DiMarco and Justin Lookadoo
- Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem
- Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot
- Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
- Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by Kevin Leman
- Before You Meet Prince Charming: A Guide to Radiant Purity by Sarah Mally
- Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together by Mark and Grace Driscoll
If you agree or disagree with any of the characterizations above, I’d love to hear! Obviously, there’s a lot more to say on these subjects that these few authors can cover, but it’s a start. Knowing some of the authors listed, some books most likely disagree in certain ways.
I asked this question with purity culture in mind. I’m curious to hear if you experienced this growing up and if there were teachings or books that promoted this in your church or religious context.
